so much is happening and so little is happening.....yeah thats how things are around me nowadays.no matter what i do no matter how hard i try i still end up at square one again and again.at times i am falling into a whirlpool of emotions .....i am hitting rock bottom....some days i am so good happy,taking care of everything....and then i donno how but for the slightest reasons i snap....i just snap ....i am filled with rage anger beyond my control ...at such times i fear to be with my baby...i fear i may hurt her....my precious baby....i say things i hate to even think of to him.....he sits in silence.i wish he does something...i want him to do something to stop it....pull me together.
failure is my worst fear...and at a time when i thought i achieved my dreams,i left them to be with him in a country i never liked for my own reasons...here i am in a strange land..without anyone to open up,no friends,no career and a baby i was not prepared for....maybe that is what is driving me mad....or the rollercoaster ride i am having is because of my post partum depression or my complete dependence on him. but whatever it is i wish i knew..i cannot sweep my feelings under the rug....reading really helps me, watching me smile makes my baby so happy wish to keep it that way....always.somehow i have to drive the negativity out and focus on our future.
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3 comments:
de-cluttering the house and venting the feelings are the best therapeutic measures that I resort to joy.. just try them!!!
i see to that there no clutter in my house and venting my feelings just aggravates becos..he silently listens most of the time n i seriuosly dont know if he is listening or watching tv.
Hi Joy,
This post really pulled a chord in me.
There is no reason for you to get bogged down. You just had a baby, she sounds cute, she should keep you smiling always.
Take one step at a time. Good luck.
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