babysitting

this week i did something i never thought i will ever do.....now i am babysitting his nephew...they asked me when i was pregnant, i did not refuse but then they backed out for i had severe backache n cannot carry him around all the time.now they asked me again this monday when he just refused to go to his daycare centre,children's courtyard, and i agreed again.it was nice to see payal n him play around,kids pushing each other...i thought now payal will learn to protect her toys but no she just walks into a corner when he pulls a toy from her hand....needs a lot of time i think.and he it took me 2 days to fully win his confidence n make him feel he is home n not at a day care....now after a week he is well adjusted n happy n payal is ok....first day she would not eat,second day got a fever, n third day onwards she is fine around hime but the minute he leaves just cling on to me.and another thing she is doing hold her dad n sleep and she wont come to my side of the bed....feels awful.
hope she gets used to this..for when i go for a real job she has to go to a nanny....
the funny part is i am not told what to feed when to...his time table nothing....so i do everything the same way for both.....n she is like ....this is our game,our stuff..does not say a word but the way she looks at me....i feel guilty for putting her through....but then i can use some money,i always wanted to be self sufficient, n i dont even know much i will be paid or when......funny right.