laid off

I am now officially laid off. Aug 14th is my last date at work
I was going through so many things in my head at that time. I took a day off on Monday only to get a call from my manager looking for. She is someone who never does that, its always me who goes to her. The is someone who never does that, its always me who goes to her. hat made me pretty much aware of what is going to happen the next day. Tuesday I walk to her and she says I need to see where others are and off she goes to my HR manager. Within 15 minutes I get a call from conference room across hall ……I knew what’s going to happen all along but when she actually told me I could not hold back my tears. All the time she was talking about how valuable I was to the team and she wants me to still stay but the company cannot afford me any longer ……all I could think in my head was ……. get it over with, I know you are laying me off say it out loud and clear. But man, was it hard to hear or harder to control the tears welling up in my eyes. I had to rush out but never show them my anguish.
I called him and within minutes we were out of office to pick my baby. I needed to be in my comfort zone …my home. And my home is where they are
P.S. That day I went on a pilgrimage from Austin to Houston ……went to Meenakshi temple and also to hillcroft to buy myself a dress to offer to lakshmi Devi on a sravana sukravaram

more lay offs

yep,there were more layoffs again within 6 months in my office.i survived again.that was not what i first felt...no .there was a numbness allover i remember unable to think straight.i wanted to know who got axed if my name was in it.i survived but my friends did not.most of them will be leaving by the month end.man,that was hard to see 30% of the work force go and chances of the company doing better slim.its a nightmare for us all remaining.we cannot stop wondering when the next layoffs will be.
well i took up a new hobby of late .....beading.its really helping me keep my calm,the way baking used to help.i have my own website also poorviscreation.com

test for license

Test for license

After being asked for a long time, he finally took me to write the test. And I flunked it. I failed the test. Its such a simple test and when I told the employee that I failed he was so surprised. How could I fail such a simple test what was I thinking?
Well I do have my reasons. I read well about signs, rules to be followed and all that stuff but never bothered to read about drunk driving and the fines and suspensions regarding. Why should I even bother about it? I don’t drink so there is never a chance of intoxicated driving on my behalf. Phew. And I never thought they will ask any question about it. My bad. There were at least 6 questions about drunk driving and the fines when you get caught like that, and also what will happen if we refuse to give blood samples etc for test when caught.
Man, next time I will read that part of the book also.
I failed a test after a long time maybe 20 years. And now I donno how long I have to wait to write the test again, he has to take me again. hmmm.

what if I am laid off

What to do if I am laid off?

What to do if I am laid off? When the news of the first layoffs came to me, I panicked. Yes, I did panic. For about 2 weeks I could not think of anything but my job security. After all I just knew I was almost axed. But now after almost 2 months I am far away from it all. Now I am prepared, both mentally and financially. I have tightened my belt a bit, cut down on a few excesses I was taking for granted and more than that I have a plan and options to choose from if I do get laid off. What are my options? Here they are.

1. Babysitting… I can always do that at home. I can watch at least 2 more and that will give at least $1000.I am a mom of a toddler so I do know how to work with kids.
2. Catering….I can cook and even larger amounts. And I have done it before I got my current job so I can always go back to it. That can fetch me an odd 100 or 200 per month.
3. Pet sitting and dog walking…I never explored it before until I saw a recent flier...100 for dog walking per month. I can do that…well anyone can do that.
4. Baking…I sure can bake. I have a certificate to prove it and friends and family to vouch for me. The money may not be a lot but still I can make at least a few hundred bucks for sure.
5. Tutoring…I did my masters in science and did do some teaching a long while ago. If not for master’s students, I can at least teach/tutor for grade school. And when I last checked it’s at least $20 per hour and more but never less with at least 3or 4 hours a week that’s 60 to 80 per week or 240 to 320 per month per student. That’s good money for the hours.
These for sure I can pursue. All this together may not be a lot but it can sustain me for a while. Better do something useful than whining all alone is my policy now.

ways to save money

well well in the days who is not looking to save some hard earned dollars.and i too know this topic has been written so many times by so many.but here i want to write down some which have worked real well for me.
1.cook at home...yep do your own cooking than pay someone else.i work 9 to 6 but i still cook all my meals every single day.i actually plan what i am gonna cook that week and bring in only those veggies.this way i dont waste anything.and not wasting is also saving.i dont throw away the curries even if its just a few spoonfuls.i pack them into small boxes and bring them all out when they are like 4 boxes......i have platter now.
if i buy herbs like curry leaves or mint....i use them fresh or make a paste and freeze them.this way nothing gets spoiled or wasted.
2.buy wholesale.........thank you costco.thats where i go every week for my milk eggs,gas,tissues,chicken,fish(frozen),bread,fruits,sugar, even some clothes(they do carry some great jeans yeah u can find calvin klein or gloria vanderbilt to name a few for lesser cost).for eg.the GV jeans i got 1 pair in jcpenny for 25 bucks.now i find a same pair in costco for just 15bucks
3.using 1 car.......we are a single car family by choice.luckily it works for us also.we work closeby.now all the money for monthly instalments,insurance,car maintenence like even car wash is saved.we get to spend more time together now,driving from and to our home,or when we go for shopping.
4.making my own jewellry...i started making my own jewellry like earrings and chains.and its easy making them all i spent was some 16 bucks for the starting materials and now i have at least 4 pairs of earrings and a necklace in the making. if i bought them outside they would cost me a lot more that.
5.baking...i bake as often as i can.not only on birthdays but for friends also.i can find so many recipes online and baking is easy just follow instructions. and u have real good cakes and cookies.
6.no bottled water or sodas....no sir i prefer my brita filter and i am sure many out there do the same.and sodas we get them only for parties which we do so few maybe a few times a year....good for health and pocket.
7.coupons...i look for coupons be it from walgreens,cvs or costco.buy them and store when i have good coupons.
8.clothes....preferably i skip going to the mall.even if i go i decide what i really want and need and buy just that.any store i go i first look at the clearence section,look for any good stuff there and then anywhere else.when i shop for clothes,i want to buy what i need then to fill up my closet not bcos a friend of mine is buying.
9.buying frozen...i buy quite a few veggies frozen. veggies like lima beans,spinach,okra(lady finger),corn.broccoli,beans....they come a lot cheaper frozen.and many say they are healthier becos they are frozen right at the fields and transported versus the fresh veggies which travel and stay out in the store for a long time.
ok enough for now more some other day

baking contest

Baking contest

I won I won. I won a baking contest. Well to be frank I should not call it a contest, bcos there were only 3 cakes competing and to top it off I had friends who were prepared to vote for me even before they tasted my cake. Phew, cheating. Well I did try and bake a good one and the icing was yummy. I decorated it with cute flowers and borders. Then, to top it off that chocolate cake is not just my favorite but it’s a crowd favorite everywhere I took it. But still the victory did not feel that great. The only solace was when that little American boy came up to me and said “ I am gonna vote for you. Your cake is good.”
When his little girl friend wanted him to vote for the cheesecake.
The prize, a $50 card from target but my favorite was the smiling kids and when they shouted that they like my cake.

6 months and running

hey guys,if anyone is still reading my blog,its almost 6 months now in this job.
yay.i am happy.i still have a job that i love to do.6months ...phew away from the days of waiting and waiting for a good job.no more worries about how to watch the 14 toddlers at school.just focus on my work and make good progress is all i want now.this job has taught a lot of new things,not just new techniques in lab but also new tips for life.now i do have friends and support system,sort of, at work too.we all walk for about 3 miles everyday and chat all through our walk....makes me feel so good.not just healthwise but make me a better person.hearing to others their everyday stories and letting them in on my own....makes me feel as if i am part of something..i donno how to call it but its like a group of friends.two of them are chinese(my managers) ,in their late 40s, 1 american lady in her 50s looking for date and me in my early 30s,an indian. we talk almost about anything.

new babysitter

ok,now i have had it.
she,my baby, does not want her diaper changed by the baby sitter.does not want to be fed by her or at times even touch her.so i changed the babysitter.now i put her with a different indian lady who is telugu,has had kids and is well recomended.she stayed for half day.and u will not believe she started crying for the old babysitter today morning.so i had to take there instaed of the new one.i cannot tell the new one why she is not coming today so i tell her husband work from home so she at home.and u know what she will know its otherwise bcos my husbabds employee's kids also go to the same new lady.phew.

days after mummy left

yep my mummy went back to India.All my attempts to take them to niagara in vain, though i did go without mummy and daddy.they had to leave early since annayya was not well,thats another story.
but after she left i dont why but for a little while i was relieved,i could do what i wanted how i wanted.there was no one to remind me of my mistakes or the other choices i could have taken in life . but all that joy was shortlived.after our vacation it was time for me to go back to work and for him too.but what about payal who will take care of her.mine was a new job i cant take lots of days off but he can,he is the boss in his office.so it was settled that he would watch payal till my in laws arrive.but the days of waiting turned into weeks and months.looks like they will take their own sweet time to come.
so i had to take matters to my hand,i zipped through the classified and viola i have a baby sitter that sounded good. try to meet her and lo my friend's kid is there.so me happys.
but not payal.2 weeks she was fine happy to play but no eating.man, i had to shuttle between work and her to feed her lunch.but this week isn't better she doesn't want to even stay there.oh man.mummy why did you even go.

growing up

payal is growing up fast and man she is growing fast.like a parrot she repeats everything we say and do..from simple words to all the stories we tell her to the way we walk,brush our hair, from the way we pull up the blanket to the way her grandma reads vishnu sahasranamas,by the way her favorite bhajan is manasa bajare guru charanam.
i taught her the word all done,so that she can tell me when she is full then just push away food or throw up.so she started using it,well in her own way,she says all done even before she starts!!!
but thats not the case for fish or her favorite egg noodles.
n then i had to tell her that her tummy will say iam hungry,akali akali antadi annanuif she does not eat well.now you know what she says,amma tummy akali anatamledu,tummy does not say i am hungry.well thats just after a few spoonfuls.
during the olympics i used to show her the games and say look they all eat well,go to a coach n learn n compete and when you when gold medal everyone will say good job and pat on your back.she took it for few meals.then any prize ceromony she would tell the whole story again to me.oops.taste of my own medicine.
now she is like hooked on the song we will rock you by Queens.she loves it so much n it has become part and parcel of her dinner routine
she knows the whole alphabet,numbers lots of rhymes loves to color isnt hesitant in making mummy catch a spider for her!!!!!!!!!!
she will not touch them but will want mummy to hold any insect. puppies and cats,its a different story she will love to hold them.
you may not even believe it she loves it sit in bhajan at sai baba temple.all i need to do is give her also one of the aarthi books which she pretends to read.
all this and more at just 2 how will she be in a few years...........

promises broken

again and again it happens why i dont know.mummy says ,dont have high expectations it will be fine.but how is it possible.how can i not have expectations on my husband.and why on earth can he not understand me.when you say something you must keep your word however small it is. is it bad expect your husband to keep his word.i dont think so.whenever he breaks his word it hurts me.so everytime i say please dont tell me stuff you cannot do or stuff you dont want to do.just tell me like that.no you will not.you will promise me so many things but very few ever happen why is it so?
i am sure he thinks i am silly,sensitive too emotional blah blah blah.well cannot help it thats me.and i am sure he also feels every little thing should not upset me.

one month

today is my one month anniversary,yahoooooooooooooooo.one month at my new job.i survived and so did my employers.
i like my job so much that i look forward for every morning now and then the feeling i used to have before,one more day i need to survive here.my old job, i hope i never have to take it again,i worked at a day care center...i joined for fun, because i was doing nothing at that time n thought something is better than nothing...n there u go kids kids...man they r a handful lot more different than my own baby.n it was perfect for my daughter to be without me.
only two regrets,i did own my two mistakes i did this month,luckily nobodys work was effected thank GOD.
hope i dont be such a dumbo again.

freinds

well well cant be happy for very long....not allowed.my friend is moving away.already i have very few friends,because i rarely go out n make any,and the ones i had are all moving away one after the other to other states.man these husbands cant they stay n work at one place.

feeling alive

after a long drought i feel the rain on my heart..i am so happy.happy that i can work again in a lab.in a way i feel more alive than ever.i am doing what i always wanted.what i always loved do .for while there i doubted if i will get a job in a lab.then when i at last got one,when i was ready to give up and go back to india,i doubted if i can do it after such a long gap.then there were those times when i thought i screwed up the experiments.
but through all this i had people who believed in me more than i ever did.they taught me, be it my mother my husband or my boss,i can do anything.all i needed was to believe in myself.
thank you for believing in me and loving me so much.i want to be alive like this happy satisfied.i dont bother the long hours at work,nor the time i need to wake up to get the boxes ready.i am just plain happy now.only thing bothering is to watch my baby hesitantly waving me bye every morning.

new job..... new hopes....

i am back once again...this time i have some happy news to share.i got a new job as a research associate....GOD how long i waited for it even the 6 months felt like ages.i quit my old job in children's courtyard with a vow to never work again in a day care center n never put my baby in one until she is at least4.
today is my first at work in my new job.i am nervous happy..my superviser sounds so sweet n nice.invited me for lunch...took me all around the office n introduced to everyone.i feel at home here ,at least for now.
i just hope that i do good at this job n get the work done.praying GOD everyday that he show me the way n walk me through it.

mummy n daddy

after a long deliberation i asked my parents to come here ...to babysit my daughter...i wanted to start a job but hated to put her in daycare.n they agreed after another month of thinking....finally the day of arrival.i am happy,maybe i have to say its a nervous happy...i was not sure how my baby will be with them,how they can handle her...i mean i pampered her a lot n she is always with n me with her,when i will get a job,what will happen ...i was so apprehensive.
the flight would arrive at 3 pm so he went to pick them them up...then we checked the flight details..delay due to rain 4pm arrival.
ok just another hour we thought.but as time passed they did not show up i was worried what happened.
5pm he calls up n says he cannot find them.flight authorities say flight has arrived n there is no sign of them or thier luggage.
now my worry turned to panic..i started calling american airlines...asking for details about the flight..all they say is flight has arrived...n would not give out any details about my parents whereabouts....all i wanted to know was if they got on the flight in new yerk n washington..nope no information......i tried to be composed,fight back my tears but could not...i could not talk on phone normally i was crying n pleading for any information they can give about them.
i was so worried bcos i made them travel this far for me my father turns 70 this year n my mum is 55 ...i get angry with them many a time n at times even hate them but not knowing how they are and where there put me in a completely new perspective.i could not bear losing them
6pm he calls me ...he found them
they were in the flight n its was on the runway all the time after landing.nobody would tell that.all they would say is everyone in that flight left.
7pm they come home.
i was never more happy or relieved seeing them
how could the authorities do such a thing....how they give wrong information that all passengers have left?dont they have any responsiblity?

sonia

sonia gandhi..time and again when i hear her name or as matter of fact any of her so called gandhi family...i just dont know how we did this to us ...i mean how come jawahar lal nehru's daughter become a gandhi when the husband's name is feroze gandhy..a parsi surname..when did the change happen and why....how come so many dont even know that n think that they are of 'mahatma' gandhi family in the rural india,n there r lie all the votes ..when the real gandhi family lives in obscurity.
how did she rise to be the most powerful person in the country when she never wanted anything to do with indian politics and even an indian citizenship for a real long time. now here she is discussing about our nuclear policy with the world and any world leader who visits india does stop at 10 janpath as does the files from pmo and the sardarji himself.
she wanted to be our PM and so did all her super supporters in congress but according to our parliament and our constitution,no person of any country can hold a public position n our country when our countrymen cannot hold a public post in their country or simply put reciprocity rule.so former president kalaam did not allow her to be the prime minister and lo a sardharji was made prime minister...making all the sardharji jokes true.but how come she is a MP still...thanks to the supreme court
i do not disrespect him..manmohan singh is good person and experienced but was that the only criterion for his present position.
i am not bjp supportor or that of RSS...as a matter of fact i dont support any party but how come in a country of 1 billion we dont have one able leader...not one person who can unite the masses and educated, a person with a vision and less of self interest...ok let him/her make some money enough for the next 10 generations or more like any other politician but still do some good to our country from the grassroots.
sounds silly right..i ok with a corrupt politician yep i know its a compromise but is there not one good leader in this country.
is it true ...the sonia gandhi family is never checked for security anywhere in india..i mean their luggage and stuff.
please someone assure me there is some hope

these days

life hasnt changed much me,yes i am trying to get myself busy....making new friends,doing odd jobs n stuff like.
when did i last write any thing maybe a month ago,since then i successfully finished my wilton course one...made lots of cakes, even got an offer to start my own bakery.still thinking about it.i catered for a party n got a good pay...did some babysitting jobs,made some money...got flu, moved into a new apartment,finished all the packing and unpacking in 2 days,starting my new kitchen garden in my patio,waiting eagerly for mummy and daddy,diving in and out of migraines...man they are bad must see a doctor soon,applying for jobs..waiting for replies..listening friends not to show a gap in resume...just put something yaar..uh..but how can i write i did a project when i did not...then they say i will not get any job here.god help me.
through all this onething wakes me up every morning from this last....a warm big hug and a soft kiss from him...makes me forget every pain every worry and gives me enough strength to face another day.
thank you sree for being so patient checking on my blog...i now know for sure there is someone who will be checking on me

growing up

my baby is growing and she is real fast.nowadays she wants to eat with a spoon herself at times,run for bath and pour water on her and play with soap,change her clothes..she is trying to do a lot.put all the papers she tore up into trash can,sweep the news paper under the sofa to tidy up room for visiters,pull clothes out of the dryer,even pick up the coffee cup his father left by the sofa and instead dropping it on sofa and again clean it up with a tissue...my baby,my cute little baby wants to do everything.she knows no shoes inside the house and even puts them off at times.
it was funny to watch her in our new apartment...we are abt to move and were checking it out...we were wearing our shoes n lo she says take my shoes off...and we both had to remove our shoes..she went back,picked up the shoes and put them in the empty closet..wow way to go dear.
makes me think she is grown up..and then comes running to me saying 'pick me up',raising her hands...want to be held,carried show her the moon...dreamily plays with my hair with a finger in her mouth...wants all my attention no sharing not even with daddy at times....now i think she is still my baby.

looks

today was so different...we both woke up so early,i usually wake up for baby but get back to bed or just try for a cat nap in the morning and he wakes up around 8...whatever.
i tried to read a while and lo his boss called him for lunch so no packing him lunch also...another unusual.ok now what,made some pancakes ,by the time baby is up... fight with her to brush as usual and again so that she can eat some gerber ...hmm not so usual.
we played all day till lunch and my baby wasn't fussy and not so happy too with lunch another day another hour for lunch...now time for teletubbies followed by milk..luckily i managed a couple of ounces.now she is ready to buzz off.but then she keeps on waking up every 30 mins.
tryng to get her back to sleep the fourth time i dozed off...thought i can wake up around 3.30 but it was almost 4.30 when we got up.usually she pulls my hair,my eyes anything to wake up as soon she she gets up and that is within 15 minutes i join her in bed usually...what happened i wanted to read when she sleeps and ended up sleeping for soooooo long.
hurry up its almost time within an hour and half i should give her a bath have mine...prepare her dinner,his snack and between all the get her yougurt clean dishes give her milk and get ready for my first cake decoration class...yep today it is.
later when he drove me off to the class, i was so apprehensive ...he is about to feed her dinner for the first time,at hs brother's house..will she eat?what will my bro in law think?will she be okay without me?
at the class i had this wierd feeling everyone is mocking me..and even the instructor was almost said,in her words"i never thought u would...." when i said i bake my own dulce de leche cakes...i knew later why...i was dressed ok..but no make up and in all the hurry i did not comb my hair properly ..i mean its not so bad but not the usual clean pony...wow how people judge on looks....its ok seen that so many times, i must get used to it
my baby was not upset as long as she was with her cousins, she did not eat her dinner properly ...he tried hard to manage her for the 2 hrs and even when she started bellowing when her hand got struck in the car seat belt..which of course she opened,on the way to pick me up...she was without me for the first time and he survived maybe becos of the cousin factor
ok goto go she is up and is crying